


The Desert

by Lavender_chan



Series: Christmas 2016 [1]
Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Rock-Paperback-Scissors, Secret Santa, masseffectsecretsanta, this is a christmas gift
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-24
Updated: 2016-12-24
Packaged: 2018-09-11 20:20:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,967
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9014323
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lavender_chan/pseuds/Lavender_chan
Summary: Layla Shepard has never been one to give much forethought to the future, but when that future is in danger of ending with Thane, she can't help but worry.This is a gift for the tumbler MassEffectSecretSanta!





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [RockPaperbackScissors](https://archiveofourown.org/users/RockPaperbackScissors/gifts).



_Kalahira, mistress of inscrutable depths, I ask forgiveness.  
Kalahira, whose waves wear down stone and sand._

Layla Shepard couldn’t stop the tapping of her heal, even though the prayer was more a mantra at this point. She heard him repeat it after every victory, when he meditated, before and after he trained his body…but none of that compared to now. To _right now._

_Kalahira, wash the sins from this one and set him on the distant shore of the infinite spirit.  
Kalahira, this one’s heart is pure but beset by wickedness and contention._

She closed her eyes and tried to find that calm center, the one that he tried to teach her to find, but she lost more often than not because she worried so badly that she couldn’t do it. That she’d fail.

At least, if this were in her hands, she could push forward and know that even if it were a bad end, even if it ended in tragedy, at least she could say she fought her hardest. But it’s not in her hands. None of this is and it was killing her slowly; as slowly as the prayer was being drawn out.

_Guide this one to where the traveller never tires, the lover never leaves, the hungry never starve.  
Guide this one, Kalahira, and this one will be a companion to you._

“Thane, shouldn’t you let Mordin look again?” Layla finally let herself speak, now that the prayer was finished, “I kno-“

“Siha,” Thane’s voice was low in his chest, but made her stop talking almost immediately; despite the situation, he sounded amused, “Dr. Solus and I have had our conversations, and of this matter, I am certain.”

Layla didn’t want to leave it at that, “But, what if after, nothing changes?”

“That is a show of forethought,” Thane reached out to touch her hair, the large waves and curls of it hugging her jaw, “You must be worried if you’re thinking that far ahead.”

Her face twitched, a small tick of annoyance on her lips before she lowered her voice, “Thane….”

The drell chuckled quietly, shifting in his body in the hospital bed— _‘This isn’t a hospital’_ , Layla thought bitterly, _‘I should have insisted-‘_ —to turn more toward her.

“If nothing changes, then nothing changes,” Thane said serenely, his face a canvas of calm and acceptance.

“How can it be that easy for you?” Layla tried to keep the desperation out of her voice.

Thane chose to pause, and let his fingers draw from her hair to her face, taking in its smooth and soft feel against his rough fingers, calloused from years of training and missions; callouses that she, too, shared. Her eyes were a fire, blazing and scorching, but contained in a desperate and—was that fear?

“I accepted my death long before you and I came together,” Thane said quietly, his thumb slowly brushing across her cheek, his eyes following its movement before darting up to meet her gaze, “But I have been blessed with finding a second Siha, when so many don’t even get to find one; I feel it is my responsibility to do what I can to be your aid and to stand strong by your side.”

A million more worries flooded Layla’s head and she hated it. She wasn’t some simpering damsel in distress; she was used to picking up a gun and forcibly fixing problems, but this…this was something else entirely.

Her hands turned into fists, but she nodded; she had to be strong for Thane, just as he had always been strong for her. Illness and everything thrown to the side in an effort to save the galaxy, and now he was willing to try, when before he had been willing to wait for death to take him.

Layla tried to feel like herself again. She had never been one to look at the odds or to worry about the ‘after’; she had always rolled with the punches and kept her head between her shoulders and not up in the clouds.

“Just remember, Siha,” Thane said, easily ignoring when Mordin came into the room, “If all else fails, I will see you across the sea.”

Across the sea.

In a rush of a moment, Layla was convinced she could feel the ocean air and warm breeze; a smell of salt and sand rushed her and for just a second, she thought she couldn’t breathe. 

“Shouldn’t worry,” Mordin was glued to a datapad and then to his omni-tool, scanning Thane for what felt like the millionth time, as he spoke to Layla “Thane’s body still healthy enough for surgery; nothing indicating need for concern. Should go on mission, pass the time quicker. Will be here and finished by time you return.”

Layla’s stomach turned, but she nodded. Mordin wasn’t wrong and a mission to clear her head would likely be a welcome distraction soon.

“How long before you start, Mordin?” Layla reached up and touched Thane’s hand, leaning into his palm.

“Not long,” Mordin answered as he input more data, “Dr. Chakwas finishing final programs for machine.”

“Is Miranda ready?”

“Ms. Lawson eager to start,” Mordin nodded before turning away.

Shepard waited until Mordin ushered her out of the medbay before she turned at the door and said firmly, “I’ll see you on the other side of this, Thane.”

Thane’s eyes watched her movements, the way her jaw moved with her words and the stern command in her eyes and a smile touched the corner of his lips.

“Yes, ma’am.”

~*~

A shifting wave of heat came from the ground around her as she walked across the sand, the urn in her hands. Layla tried to not think about the sweat starting to trail down her neck or forehead as she followed the trail toward a canyon, ignoring the cacti that surrounded the path.

Her mind couldn’t stop moving through that day, a few years ago now, when the doors closed between her and Thane, just before he underwent the surgery that was meant to repair his lungs using the Lazarus Project technology and Miranda’s expertise.

It was the roughest day for the Commander.

Now she stopped at the top of a small hill and turned around, “Hurry up, slow poke!”

Thane turned a corner, catching up quickly, “Apologies, Layla; I found another scorpion.”

“You’re fascinated by them, huh?” She tilted her head and gripped the urn a little tighter, “You mentioned scorpions in one of those vid-coms you tried to send me.”

“Yes, a scorpion that ate a cricket,” He nodded, before his eyes narrowed slightly; Layla recognized that look and patiently waited for Thane to begin his memory, “Sunset in New Mexico; a scorpion on the rocks. It’s eating a cricket it’s caught; Kolyat and I are fascinated.”

It took him a moment to come back to the here and now, and Layla waited patiently before saying, “It must be a good memory.”

“Yes,” Thane admitted, almost shyly, “It’s one I visit often in my mind.”

Layla paused again before asking, “How’re you doing? Keeping up ok?”

Thane looked amused, “It has been 3 years since then, Siha…Dr. Solus and Ms. Lawson did their job well, as you have seen for yourself.”

“Yeah, I know,” She smiled, “Just give me the small things; I don’t give much a lot of forethought, but you’re worth it.”

Thane reached forward to touch her face in the familiar way that he always did: slowly drawing his thumb over her cheek and watching its movement.

“Very well,” He finally said quietly, “I am keeping up well.”

“Good,” Layla nodded before turning and continuing up the trail.

They walked in amicable silence for a few moments before Thane filled it again, “Will this location be adequate?”

“The place is only a little further,” Layla nodded, “Just past that ridge.”

Despite their small mission, Layla was dressed in jean shorts, a tank-top and plaid shirt, while Thane was dressed in black; Layla still smiled at seeing the great Assassin wear shorts. They had taken on this request for charity’s sake, but she found walking with Thane through the desert was more than worth it.

They turned over the ridge and both of them stopped.

High above them, a river turned into a waterfall into the canyon and formed a small lake that had no outlets or rivers running from it. Despite this, the lake didn’t seem to be growing or moving outward at all, but gently lapped at its shore, slowly wearing away stone and dirt the way time wore on all things. Thane reached out to rest his arm across Layla’s shoulders and squeezed gently.

“I agree with you, Siha,” Thane said quietly, “This place is perfect.”

Layla smiled, “I thought so.”

They both made their way closer to the water’s edge and Layla began to fill the silence, “This lake has a hole at the bottom, where water is pulled in; no one knows where it goes or how deep it is, but I remember when my mother and father took me here, my father told me that a lot of people believe that it’s an underground river that flows all the way out to the sea.”

There was a pause before she continued, “It’s like Earth’s way of helping all of us to reach Across the Sea.”

Thane took in a breath, as if breathing for the first time before his hand reached out to cup her face, pulling her to face him before his lips met hers.

It was a brief connection that sent a spark straight down her spine, and she blinked at Thane in shock before her mouth fell open.

“Forgive my aggression, Siha,” Thane whispered, his cool breath making her skin tingle, “But I could not help myself…When I heard you speak of the Sea with such familiarity, I reacted on impulse.”

Layla couldn’t help but lean into him, almost asking for more; but she took a slow breath and smiled, “Don’t be sorry…I kind of liked it.”

She smiled as she walked away, her skin on fire—now, because of nothing to do with the desert.

It was nearly impossible to not be aware of Thane’s presence now, but Layla still set about her business, her movements careful.

Without getting her knees wet, Layla knelt by the lake’s edge—she set down the urn and reached up to reflexively tuck a piece of hair behind her ear; she then reached down, unscrewing the urn and removing its lid. Inside were ashes of a man who died with one last request: that his ashes be spread at this lake, which was a well-known tourist attraction on earth.

In his will, he stated that it was his hope that his ashes passing through this underground river would help him reach heaven, by way of metaphor. His family spread the news of this request to billions of people, requesting that the man be granted this last request.

Of course there was backlash; the Alliance Government wasn’t keen on having a natural wonder desecrated, but popular opinion won out and the family was granted permission.

Thane approached from behind, and as Layla poured the ashes, his deep rumble came from behind her, his voice slow and steady, repeating that mantra.

_Kalahira, mistress of inscrutable depths, I ask forgiveness._  
Kalahira, whose waves wear down stone and sand--  
Kalahira, wash the sins from this one,  
and set him on the distant shore of the infinite spirit 

_Kalahira, this one's heart is pure,_  
but beset by wickedness and contention.  
Guide this one to where the traveler never tires,  
the lover never leaves, the hungry never starve.  
Guide this one, Kalahira,  
and he will be a companion to you as he was to me 

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you like it, [Rock-Paperback-Scissors!](http://rock-paperback-scissors.tumblr.com/) (send me an ask on tumblr if you have an AO3 account and I'll add this as a gift to that account!)


End file.
